


Alohomora Society: A  Young Person’s Guide to Wizarding Etiquette

by Kestrel_Sparhawk



Series: Etiquette Series [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Etiquette in Harry Potter, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 20:25:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2745833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kestrel_Sparhawk/pseuds/Kestrel_Sparhawk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The larger sections of the etiquette journal from which Harry and Draco draw their examples of Pure-Blood Society. with extra tongues in cheek.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alohomora Society: A  Young Person’s Guide to Wizarding Etiquette

**Author's Note:**

> Editor’s note: I believe that these extracts from the Popular guide (now in its 3rd Edition) constitute fair use, as my story itself is substantially longer than the materials quoted. 
> 
> In fact, it’s so much longer, I feel empowered to include the substance and context from which my quotations derive. 
> 
> I hope this contributes to the edification of All, even Wizards and Witches among us vastly Older than those making their Debut and thus addressed.

* * *

#  By  


#### Spirea Black-Smith (Hogwarts, 1974, Hufflepuff)  
Percival Ignatius Weasley (Hogwarts, 1995, Gryffindor)  


* * *

## Chapter 3:Dances and Balls

A young Witch’s first ball may be the most important event of her life. It will change her circle of friends, expand her circle of acquaintance beyond those met at school, and introduce her to the Wizarding World. For a young Wizard, the ball will be the place perhaps to meet his Mate; to establish himself as a Mature and Accomplished young Man, and to make the first Contacts which will eventually provide him with his Life’s Work.  


With these Laudable and Lifechanging goals, a first Impression must be essentially perfect. This is not the evening to Display Eccentricity, Skimp on one’s Grooming Spells, or Converse like a Poet. ( _For a full list of appropriate Grooming spells, please see Appendix 17, Grooming Spells. Spells to correct stammering, stuttering, failing to finish sentences, impulsive topic introduction or response, and the like are beyond the purview of this Modest Manual. You would be Well-Advised to consult your Local Healer before you make your debut.)_ . . .

* * *

## Chapter 6: Appropriate topics of Greeting and Introduction 

### Wizarding Relatives in Common

  
We wish to remind the Muggle Born and/or Raised that a Pure-blood will be most likely Offended if you identify a Muggle or Half-blood relative in common. Be sure to memorize Appendix Three, Wizarding Connections, both to simplify conversation and to know what relatives to avoid mentioning. Half-bloods’ names are in silver in the index, and Muggle-borns are listed in copper. Pure-bloods are inscribed in gold. The differences in colour are of course purely a Mnemonic, and do not reflect the Authors’ opinions of relative Blood Value.  


### Quidditch  


The well-bred young Wizard, especially, will be (or at least, will Dissemble being) fond of Quidditch. He will know team placements in the League and have a favourite team on which he can discourse in depth when called upon to do so. (Please see Appendix 12, Quidditch scores, to find current Standings and Interesting Facts about each team. The renewing spell unfortunately only repeats once a week, on Saturday evenings, so a Wizard attending a Friday evening event may wish to Augment the Guide’s information with a discreet check of the Daily Prophet.)  


### Other Dances, Past or Future

It is of utmost importance that a young Wizard appear blasé, and a young Witch enthusiastic, about the dances each Attends, even if they are the same. The interplay of these mildly conflicting points of view enables Conversation, as long as neither grows passionate in defense of their perspective.  


***

When it is the case that a young Witch is seeking another as Partner, or a young Wizard prefers Masculine company, the Opportunity for Agreement cannot be Overstated sufficiently. . .  


* * *

## Chapter 29: Clothing  


The Modern Fashion for Muggle clothing at Wizarding occasions is a distressing indicator of Dismaying Changes in Traditional Society. No well-bred Wizard or Witch would wear anything but Formal Robes to a formal dance, or anything but Informal Robes to any informal occasion but (perhaps) a Fancy Dress party. 

For either Wizard or Witch, robes which trace the outline of the body, whether by magic or by thinness of material, are acceptable, as long as they are opaque.  


Young wizards should wear the traditional dark robes which indicate, in males, availability as a partner. After he has made an Arrangement with Another, or Refused all Arrangements, a Wizard may wear the brightly coloured robes and brocaded fabrics appropriate to the happily-coupled and happily-single.  


A tie is not appropriate for formal wear; wear a cravat. A modest set of bracelets in the colours of one’s House is quite appropriate. Since these “old school shackles” are useful for identifying people with whom to Discuss One’s Future, no Young Wizard should be without them.  


Witches’ garments may subtly show their House affiliations by colour selection. Sometimes, one must be judicious. For example, whereas Ravenclaw and Slytherin both have colours which can only favour the wearer, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff witches should practice subtlety. Young witches should not wear black, which leaves Hufflepuffs with shades of gold and yellow to select from, with black accents. Gryffindor witches have similar choices in red or gold, but should select one or the other as suited to their complexion. 

* * *

## Chapter 7: Healthful Activities

### Dancing  


A Young Person wishing to dance has a responsibility to make that Clear. For Wizards, this is simple; he may walk to his selected partner, bow, and say, “Would you like to dance?” No well-brought up young Witch would refuse.

For a witch, the choices are slightly more difficult. She has first to put herself in the way of notice; to be well-dressed and in the right place for a Wizard to stumble over her, without appearing to have so intended. Confundus charms are frowned upon in such situations. Spells which call another to her, such as Love spells, are warded against in the Best dance milieux. 

A creative witch may find another way. Letitia Longbottom, at the time of the Wars Against Napoleon and his Wizards, devised a potion so entrancing that Wizards rhapsodized about her scent and her potions skills; it developed that it was actually simple Patchouli from a Muggle import shop, but fortunately by that time she was safely married.

There is another tale of a young witch who caused Music of great Delight to play in her Desired’s ear, when she was near. All thought it would be a match, but alas! A Deafness hex cast by a bitter rival sundered them.

As you can see, a wise Witch may be well-advised to concentrate on spells of Appearance, rather than others which can so easily misfire. . . .

## Chapter 13: Appropriate Courting Behavior  


###  Section 7: Male/Male Courtship  


The pursuit of One by Another is always a Challenge for Both. When both are Male, the complexity increases Geometrically.  


The Appropriate Courting gifts described in Section IIId(1) such as a Family Charm, an Invisibility Cloak, perfume potions, or fine Fabric or Jewels, are appropriate between Same Sex courting partners as well. However, added to these may be Sexual Charms and Devices, which are never appropriate between Opposite Sex courting partners.

***  


What a Young Wizard emphatically must Not Do is violate the Rules of Public Affection. Kissing, holding hands, hugging, taking an arm, or even saying affectionate Words is viewed by Polite Society as offensive. 

This may stem from the time when Same Sex Wizarding relationships were an affront to Pure-bloods, whose views on improving the Wizarding World via offspring were threatened by blatantly non-fertile relationships. Now, of course, improvements in magical Medicine have made reproduction within the reach of almost all, and Same Sex Liaisons have been allowed to segue into Same Sex Domestic Arrangements without comment. 

However, the Taboo remains and it is considered an extreme of Bad Taste to violate it.

### Section 9: Friends and Cronies

Salazar Slytherin was the first to clarify the difference between those (right and proper) associates which wizards and witches ought to have, and those associates which can do them no good. It is worthwhile to see what he has to say in his own words:

>   
>  … And let it NOT be said by those who would Malign you that you have more Cronies than friends. Stop such gossip in the Making, even if it require a Duel. For a True Friend is one for whom friendship is a Mutual Benefit; whose ambitions you support and who can be counted on to support Yours. Such a Friend will assist you in seeking Appropriate Positions, an Appropriate Mate, and Appropriate Revenge for insults or Physical Denigration.
> 
> One may choose a partner for the Theatre, or for Sexual Activity, or other such Social Interaction, but such are merely Cronies. With Cronies, you must be perpetually on the Alert to ensure that a Crony will not betray you, harm you, or desert you in your time of Need. Your Reputation will suffer, as those who consort with such clearly have Extremely Bad Judgment. 
> 
> A Man who socializes with Cronies more than occasionally will surely fail in his ambitions. A Man who associates primarily with Friends will be safe, secure, and ultimately Successful; which is to say, Happy.

Mark those words, from more than a thousand years ago. It may well explain the confusion between Outsiders’ understanding of Slytherin ambition and the experience of Slytherins themselves, whom the Sorting Hat has said within Slytherin will find their “true friends.”  


* * *

  


## Chapter 27: Wit and Conversation

A Reasonable Person will concede that Some are rather more witty than Others, and Some more able to enjoy the conversation of Strangers. Neither of these facts is Any Excuse for failing to hold up your End of a conversation. Rather, they must be viewed as a Challenge of Significant proportions. To this end, we have presented for those who are Challenged the Acceptable Topics for Formal Parties and Receptions Among Acquaintances _(see **Chapter Six** above for the most basic)_.

### Public Brawls and Disagreements  


It is never appropriate to show heat in any public disagreement. The list of topics which are Appropriate have been chosen for just that reason. Should even one of those prove to be Controversial, the well-bred young Witch or Wizard will simply keep silent, and, if the one who is arguing becomes Irritating, walk away.

Let us especially underline the importance of No Physical or Magical Contact. Duels, hexes and jinxes, and worst of all, Fisticuffs must be avoided. Hostile magic is simply not done. Punching someone is, of course, not Magical and implies a reversion to Muggle behaviours. (It also brings up the connotation of not having a wand, which is disgraceful by itself.)  


* * *

## Chapter 99: Afterword

In the End, all our discussions and strictures and advice can be summarized in one Extended Metaphor. Life is like a book. There are expectations in the course of the story; we do not write an Epilogue before we have written the entire body of the story, for example.

But, sometimes, a Writer does not follow the rules. Usually this leads to Disaster. However, in a few fortunate cases, the Writer becomes Wiser than the Wisest Instructor who taught her the rules in the first place. And then, dear Readers, that book becomes a Masterpiece, and a Model for future stories.

We hope you are successful, one way or another.

* * *

### A/N: Additional Notes

Spirea Helga Black-Smith traces her bloodline directly back to Hogwarts Founder Helga Hufflepuff. Percival Ignatius Weasley has wizarding family roots back to the Romans.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about the formatting. It was formatted for a different set of rules, and I couldn't seem to improve the problems much -- it kept reverting.
> 
> Just imagine this all in calligraphy.


End file.
